My heart is broken today.
I didn't sleep much last night, in part, because my Dad was to receive some long awaited information with respect to his health. This darned time difference East to West is really throwing me for a loop. By the time he was to get home from his appointment yesterday, we would have already been in bed so we had to wait until today.
Meanwhile, we had to take Ernie back in to the vets today for a urine test and an ultrasound. They wanted to catch his morning pee so we had to attempt to get him downtown with a full bladder. Not as easy as it sounds given the weakness of his bladder. We carried him from the house to the car and from the car to the clinic. As we passed the grassy patch outside of the hospital, I wondered - when a dog looks at grass is it the same thing as a human listening to running water? Does the sight of green grass make their bladder twitch?
We were to be there by 8:30 and we got home at 4:00. That should give you an indication of how it went. We have been blindsided with the worst possible news and are both having a difficult time absorbing that our devoted little friend may not have much time left with us, or us with him. It seems Ernie is in kidney failure. He has a growth in his bladder that has already caused one kidney to shut down irreversibly and the other kidney is showing some abnormal signs. Since he just had bladder surgery in May, it appears this growth has come on rather fast and without further diagnostic testing, they can't determine whether it is a benign or malignant growth. Either way, his prognosis isn't good and our hearts are truly aching tonight.
In usual Ernie fashion, he won over the hearts of the staff at the clinic which made it difficult for us to privately absorb our situation. Not knowing our dire news, the front desk staff all wanted to fawn over his adorability (and who wouldn't?) while we were desperately trying to hold it together. While I have tears running down my cheeks they all want to say hello and I sure can't blame them for that. He was all wig-waggy, saying hello to the peoples, running up to a Golden Retriever who he thought was Rookie, making friends with two Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and then attempting to to encourage a kitty in a cage to play. The kitty, by the way, was not impressed and certainly let Ernie know.
As for my dear old Dad, the news was far more encouraging and he has been given the green light to head South for the winter on the condition he return a month earlier than usual. Despite both his condition and Ernie's, it appears we have both received exceptional care - a perfect balance of superior medical care combined with a well-needed dose of humanity, that I know, we are all grateful for and has gone a long way to helping us all cope just a little bit easier tonight.
Hug, just a little bit longer tonight, those you love most - whether they have two legs or four, furry or not.
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