Now What Kind Of Welcome Home Is That?

A serene drive down the coast with my two favourite men. The sun shining gloriously. The breeze wafting through the windows breaking the heat. Magnificent waterfront homes and charming farmhouses placed, to perfection, between the rolling hills. As we roll past our driveway to swing the trailer in, I notice something on my freshly painted deck. ARGH! Garbage! EVERYWHERE!

As I get closer I also note that my flower pots are overturned, the garbage is scattered across the deck, around the corner and all the way to the other end. There is filth EVERYWHERE and the deck is stained with something mustard yellow. Around the corner the wasp nest that has been accumulating underneath the planter that we built, now lies decimated on the deck, on the planter, on the chair. With the addition of much rainfall acting as glue, it is like tissue paper stuck to the surface of my freshly painted deck.

What kind of welcome home is this? A dose of reality after a couple of days of R & R. Nothing like real life to bring you back down to earth.

A note to the neighbours. If you by chance notice some raccoons passed out in your yard, foaming at the mouth, eyes rolling back in their head, you might want to advise the paramedics that the raccoons have suffered a vitamin and supplement overdose. We cleaned out the bathroom cupboard last week and dumped copious amounts of stale dated supplements. The good news is that if they survive, they will have strong shiny coats, lean muscles, healthy bones and teeth and improved cognitive function (so they can remember which neighbour has the choicest garbage).

Oh, you thought I was done yammering on about the deck... Let's just add to this, last week we had placed the umbrella from our patio set on the deck and then had two days of serious rainfall. When the rain subsided and the SF went to erect the umbrella, a shower rained down upon him. A shower of earwigs that is! Apparently that dark, wet environment was the perfect hiding place to protect them from the mega-rain we had. Once we got over the shock of the wiggies, I was horrified to see that the dye from the umbrella has stained a huge section of....you got it, my freshly painted deck!