The Mighty Squirrel Hunter

Living in a fairly remote locale, surrounded by trees, ocean and a small human population, we are lucky enough to also have many furry and feathered neighbours. In the Fall, we invested in a bird feeder that was advertised...no, touted as SQUIRREL PROOF. We originally set it up on our porch so we could observe the birds feeding from the comfort of our living room. A great plan at first thought, however we underestimated the popularity of FREE bird food and the darn blue jays were there night and day. Not only were they incredibly noisy, and thus interrupting my beauty sleep early in the morning, but they were also making a horrid mess with the food and sadly, using our porch as their latrine.

We therefore opted to relocate the feeder, to a slightly less visible location, beside the front steps of our house but on the grass hanging from a stand anchored into the ground. This way we could still fill the feeder from the porch, but it gave the birds enough distance from us and, any mess they made fell to the ground below.

What we didn’t anticipate was that as the weather grew colder and the snow started to cover the ground, the feeder would become easy fodder for the desperate and destitute squirrels, after all, we had the infamous Mark Cullen’s Squirrel Proof Bird Feeder. And, we weren’t too concerned about the squirrels as there were only so many weeks until the squirrels would hibernate for the winter. They do hibernate, right? Apparently not!


The location of the feeder was too much of a temptation for the squirrels and they have easily made their way into it. Case in point.


They had burrowed little tunnels from the trees in our yard, through the snow right up to the deck where they would scale the railing and leap the two feet to the feeder. They even constructed a tunnel system through the snow on the deck. And to make matters worse, we quickly discovered the reason why we had a collection of “ghost pooh” surrounding the foundation of our house. (Ghost pooh, for those that don’t know is those little pieces of white foam that you usually find packed around parcels - it is also used to insulate your home.) Apparently the squirrels found a convenient escape hatch, should a predator come between them and the trees. They would clamber up the concrete foundation and hide in between the vinyl siding and the house until the coast was clear enough for them to high-tail it back to the forest.

We considered relocating the feeder and worse yet, blocking the squirrel’s access to their safe haven with chicken wire but quickly discovered, we already had the answer to our squirrel busting issues....The Squirrel Hunter Version 2.0. You see, The Squirrel Hunter, Version 1.0 didn’t work so well anymore. He was deaf, he was half-blind, he couldn’t run anymore and he certainly couldn’t stand on his hind legs and scale a tree like he used to. Yes, Rookie’s squirrel hunting days were far behind him. Although, we were overjoyed that in his final days he had one more up close and personal encounter with his furry little nemesis. One day, as he made his way to his favourite stooping spot on the deck to sun himself, a somewhat distracted squirrel did not anticipate Rookie's approach, and they pretty much came nose to nose. The squirrel made a hasty retreat for the corner of the house and since Rookie was closer to the house than the squirrel, the squirrel had to practically run across Rookie’s paws to get there. There was no chance Rookie was going to catch the squirrel, but he put his biggest effort forward, and gave chase the two or three feet the squirrel had to clear before making it into its safety net. Well, you have never seen a dog as proud as Rookie was that day, and he let us know by letting out a boisterous, ear piercing bark followed by a self satisfied wag of the tail and that look that asked, “I did good, right Dad? Huh? Huh? I did good?” One more last memory of our old fella that warms my heart.

So Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I am pleased to introduce you to The Squirrel Hunter, Version 2.0. More compact, more fuel effecient, less walking, its only pitfall, requires more loving and a heck of a lot more maintenance. It is none other than... Ernie! Slightly more agile than the old version. Definitely small enough to get into the unattainable spaces Rookie was never capable of accessing. He has assumed Rookie’s plight, and how! He had some big paws to fill. See for yourself.

The Squirrel Hunter...Take 1



Not to be outdone by, The Squirrel Hunter, Take 2

On the off chance that a squirrel has made a hasty retreat across the span of the deck instead of down the short set of stairs, you can see Ernie scrambling after the squirrel’s shadow. The squirrel runs the outside of the deck and Ernie runs the inside. Unfortunately Ernie’s powers of observation are not as keen as his brother’s were in his prime, but he still gives the squirrels a run for their money and returns to the house, self satisfied and proud that he has earned his keep for another day. I swear we can hear Rookie from doggy heaven, telling his little “grasshopper” how proud he is of him. Rookie, ya’ done good, schoolin’ your little bro! In the true meaning of the term, Ernie has evolved into a genuine Squirrel Hunter. In fact, I have the window open as I'm typing and can hear the squirrels chattering right now and my ever faithful friend, who is in his usual position, glued to my hip is sitting up with his ears all perky staring at the window and going a tad nutty because he wants to be out there chasing the varmints away.

Kim.

postscript....Ernie says, please excuse his hairdo. He just got shaved at the barbers and I beg you to forgive my cackle and snort in Take 2. I couldn't help myself watching Ernie gnaw down on the siding.